Empathy and Roses
by walkingtr4vesty
Summary: She is able to take away someone's pain and at the same time, she also could cause pain to someone. Christina isn't sure about making friends once she moved to London but she encounters a bunch of friendly people. She must learn to control her own powers before it hurts someone and she is determined not to hurt the people she love. Christina x Dan
1. Chapter 1

"Chris, are you ready?"

I clip my fringe to my side while my father is calling out for me from the kitchen for school. I don't feel nervous, excited or scared like every high schooler out there who is starting their first day in school. I feel nothing. My father and I moved to London two weeks ago to start our new lives. Initially, I thought that moving to London is terrible because of the lack of sunshine and the accent. How the hell am I going to adapt to it after living in LA for 16 years?

"Christina!"

He calls out once again but this time I am already standing at the breakfast bar with my bag slinging on my shoulder. He smiles at me and collects his briefcase. He is like every father out there except that he might be too young to be my father. He and my mother got me when they were 17 however my father is only the face I saw for the rest of my life.

"Ready for school?"

I narrow my eyes. "Dad, are you really asking me that question?"

He thinks about it for a moment and chuckles. "Yeah that is just a stupid question. Come on, you are going to be late."

I sigh. As we get into the car, I couldn't help but feel grateful to have a father like him. He may be too young to handle such a huge responsibility and to be the only parent to bring me up, he handled it pretty well. He didn't screw up and he certainly didn't leave me. 16 years of being a father and I have to say he did a great job.

"I won't be back until 10 tonight, do you think you can handle your own dinner?" His voice interrupts my thoughts.

"Yeah sure."

Ten minutes later, he parks outside the school. I look at the building and I still feel nothing. I should be feeling nervous but nothing. I feel his hands on mine, squeezing it slightly.

"Good luck."

I turn and give him a hug before getting out of the car. I am not a fan of affection but I just feel that I needed it. I hear the car engine purring away as I watch the car drives off. Now I am all alone.

I make my way into the compound with all the other excited students pushing behind me. I was about to turn back to curse them when I told myself to stop before I create any trouble and shine any spotlight on myself. I am going to be just a ghost for the next two years and make my way out of this school. I am not really big on making friends so it doesn't matter if I am alone. I like it better alone. Besides, I am a newcomer and everyone in this school practically knows each other so it just makes my job so much easier.

I turn around the corner to collect my timetable at the office when a guy walks up to me. In my mind, I am hoping that he is not trying to talk to me.

"Christina Graham?"

_Shit. _

I nod my head and smile slightly. "Yeah?"

"I'm Kian. I am your tour guide and I am asked to bring you around the school, get you familiar with the surroundings."

"I don't remember anyone telling me that."

"Your dad requested it."

_Double shit. _

I guess Kian could feel my vibe that I am not really into this tour guide thing. "Don't worry, I am only your guide for a day so you can get rid of me after today."

"Lucky me." I whisper to myself while he passes me everything that I need. He mentioned that the school assigned him to do the job since he is the only person who has the same timetable as me for today. He is not into this whole guide thing as well but he is happy to help. I am just glad this is only for a day.

"So uh… LA huh?" Uh oh, I don't really like talking about personal life. I just nod and look at the school map so that he doesn't try to talk to me. But no luck, he seems like a very talkative person.

"Why did you move here?"

I hesitate for a moment but it doesn't hurt to tell a white lie. "My dad likes the simple life and the both of us like a change in scenery."

"To cold London? Too much vitamin D?"

He chuckles at his own joke but I could only just roll my eyes. When we are heading to our lockers, two guys and a girl wave at him. When they see me with him, they wolf whistle and start shouting his name. I resist the temptation to just turn around and walk away.

"Sorry about my friends. They can get a little rowdy."

"A little?"

He shrugs and a grin crawls onto his face. "Come on, I will introduce you to them."

"Oh no, no, it's okay." I try to come up with an excuse. "I don't need…" I don't need friends? Honestly, I sound like a pathetic person who builds too much walls around her and she thinks that she can survive on her own in school. I wish I don't have to do this but it is the best for everyone.

"Don't be shy. They won't bite."

Before I could even walk away, he pulls my hand and drags me to the guys.

He points to the girl with brunette hair who looks happy to see another girl around her group of friends. "This is Sam, we think that she is the one with the balls." The other two guys start laughing.

He points to the guy next to him with his fringe covering his forehead and his hands tuck in his pockets. "Dan. Talks too much and one giant awkward machine. Sometimes sarcastic so you will like him." He didn't smile at me but he just nods his head.

"Lastly, we have Alex. Not so lucky with the girls." Alex hits Kian in the head and he retaliates.

"And guys, this is Christina."

Before they could say anything, I cut in. "Chris."

They look at me with a funny look on their faces. I have been down this road many times and whenever I asked someone to call me 'Chris', they think that I am crazy but I am used to it. For my whole life, everyone calls me Chris and I am used to it. It is much shorter and who cares if it sounds like a guy?

"Chris." The four of them said it at the same time. I didn't want to stay in this conversation too long in case they start asking about my life once again so I make my way to find my locker.

After I organize my locker, Kian appears behind the door and I jump a little. "You are not a people person, aren't you?"

"I am not used to it." I blurt out. And it is true, I didn't have any company in school since last year.

"Ah, then you shall join us for lunch today and no backing out okay? Don't be intimidated by them or me, we are all kind of idiots." I couldn't help but snicker. I wish I could come up with a great excuse but none is getting into my head so I am left with no choice.

He snaps me out of my thoughts. "Chris, you okay with it?" I nod and just go with it. When the bell rings, we make our way to our first lesson. As we make our way to the classroom, I realize that Dan is staring at me and I don't like the way he is staring at me. I had my fair share of looks people give me in my previous school and he is doing exactly the same as those people. Kian interrupts my staring session when he pulls me into the classroom.


	2. Chapter 2

Kian manages to guide me through all the classes and where all the classrooms are at. He also manages to attract some attention our way when we walk down the halls as Kian is almost friends with everyone in this building. Just when I thought I had enough of Dan's killer glare, I realize that I will be having lunch with them. Sam and Alex are alright but Dan… The whole time when we make our way to the cafeteria, I try to come up with an excuse but I was too late when Kian makes me sit next to Dan.

I wasn't hungry so I decide to stay at the table, shifting in my seat so that our elbows don't touch. I stare at my math textbook cover and pretend to look interested in it when he starts talking.

"Why did you decide to move to London?" That could be the tenth time someone asked ever since we moved.

"Simpler." Was all I could mutter out.

"If I had a choice, I would choose either Australia or Asia. I wouldn't even try London."

I look at him. "Different people have different perspectives."

Maybe I was wrong. Maybe he isn't those kinds of people but what do I know? We just had a harmless conversation and now I think that he is a friendly and nice guy? Funny, Chris, funny.

"Do you even like London?"

"Why do you want to know?" I challenge him but before he could answer my question. The others return. The rest of lunch period were questions throwing at me about LA and surface questions about my life which I could handle. I take a peek at Dan once to see that he wasn't interested in the conversation. I look away and continue listening to Sam going on about how much she wants to go to LA.

When the bell rings for the next period, Sam pulls me back so that I could tell her more about LA.

"You are really cool, Chris. I never thought there would be another girl joining this crazy group of ours."

"Oh… I thought…" I decide to drop the subject. We probably won't be hanging out from tomorrow onwards and it is the best for everyone that I don't mention it. They are nice people and they are the kind of people that I love to hang out with but I am too dangerous. "Never mind. I got to go to class. See you later."

When I make my way to find Kian so that we could go for Biology, I see him talking to Dan. As I hear my name, I decide to hide behind the wall.

"She is definitely not going to be hanging around right? I mean, she is a bit off." His words didn't affect me at all.

"You are a bit off, Dan. There is nothing wrong with her. She is just not used to it. Come on, you are that friendly kid who makes friends with everyone, even some old lady on the streets."

"I just… I just think that she is a freak."

_Freak. _How many times have I heard that word associate with me? Millions. My previous school labels me as the 'freak'. Two years of being called a freak got me numb. I was actually used to being called it. The word doesn't affect me any longer however when Dan says it, I feel as though the word is imprinted on my forehead. I tune out and didn't hear what Kian said next. When the second bell rings, both of them disappeared into the lab. I stayed outside for a moment and contemplated on leaving.

_Two years and now you are affected so badly by it? Man up, Christina Graham. _

I take in a deep breath. I am not going to let some kid with that hair get into my nerves by calling me a freak.

The next few hours went by quite smoothly and before I know it, it is time to head home. Kian joins me by my side.

"Hey, you want to join us by the diner? We usually head there to talk and hang around."

"I would love to but I still have to move a few things at home. Maybe next time?" He looks disappointed.

"Fine but you are sticking with us tomorrow."

"I uh…" I trail off. "I thought this was only for a day."

He rolls his eyes. "Chris, all of us love you and we want you to hang with us." Dan joins Kian.

"I don't know about that, Kian. Being called a freak is an expression of love?" Then I just leave the both of them standing there. I could hear Kian calling out for me but I didn't turn back. Alone, that's all I need for now.

The next day, Kian stands at the front gate and when he sees me, he immediately walks by my side.

"You are not going to leave me alone, aren't you?"

"Hey, Dan is an ass okay? What matters is that we accept you and we want you to hang with us. I am not taking a 'no' for an answer."

"Kian, you are very nice but you know that I am not used to this whole thing. I-"

"So you are going to hang with us until you are used to it. If you like to be alone occasionally then we will give you some space."

His terms aren't exactly unreasonable and with the constant determination of his, I decide to give in. However, I am still afraid that one day I am going to hurt one of them.

"You okay with it?"

"Whatever makes you happy." We head to our lockers and Kian couldn't wipe that smug off his face.

When we reach our lockers, the usual gang is crowding around and Dan has a guilty look on his face. He quickly excuses himself to the toilet and I am just glad that I don't have to face him. Kian is the only one who knows why he is heading to the toilet.

"So what's first period for you?"

"Hmm… free period."

He groans. "Lucky." I wave at all of them once the bell rings as I head to the library. I could use some reading. I haven't done that ever since we moved due to the stuff that we have to go through and pack around the house.

The librarian smiles at me. I am not into returning smiles so I just nod and make my way to a quiet corner. I found a book that I wanted to read so I take a sit on the floor. I cross my legs and start the book. Ten minutes later, I feel my eyes slowly drooping. I try to stay awake but my 4 hours of sleep is fighting me.

I give in to my sleepy state and close my eyes. Instantly, my mind starts churning out a dream. A very familiar dream.

_I walk along the dark alley after being held in school. It was just like any typical school day. The students ignore me whenever I walk along the halls. When teachers ask to pick their partners, I am always stuck being alone. I could hear the word 'freak' being called out at me. _

_I was used to all of this. I didn't let it get me. _

_I know what I was capable of when I healed that girl in the locker's room. I didn't heal her like a first aider. I healed her magically. It happened after she fell on the tracks and she was bleeding from her knees and her forehead. I felt bad about her pain so I took her hand in mine. _

_When she realizes that the wound on her knee is closing, her eyes widen. She screams at me and she starts telling people around her that I am some sort of freak. People believed her story and from then on, my name changed to 'freak'. _

_I knew I had such powers when I was young. I could take away someone's pain and heal them. I first encounter it when I found a stray dog hurt, I touch the dog and instantly, it was up and running. I didn't understand what was happening at first but after a few more encounters, I realized what I could do. _

_I was scared and mostly, I didn't understand who or what I am. I never told anyone what I could do. Not even to my closest friends. Not even Dad. _

_When I realized that my 'powers' caused me to be condemned, I hated it. I hated myself but what could I possibly do about it? I couldn't get rid of it and I couldn't get any help from anyone. So I just simply turn off a switch in me, I just let the insults come at me. I let every comment slide. _

_Back to the dark alley, I was about to head home when a bunch of guys from my school appear in front of me. The smell of alcohol is strong and I just pretend I didn't see them but they block the way that I am going. _

_All I could smell is trouble. _

_"Christinaaaa." My body shivers when one of them calls my name. I don't like what is going to happen and I hope their drunken self will be too slow when I run. However, when I try to run, someone grab hold of my waist and I scream. The person who grabbed me manages to quickly cover my mouth. _

_My life flashes before my eyes. I don't want this to happen. Someone help me, please. _

_"They call you a freak but I think you are a freak in bed." The one who called my name strokes my cheek with his finger. I couldn't help but try to pull my face away. The man grabbing me holds even tighter and this time, I hear the man in front of me unbuckling his belt. _

_No, please no. _

_"We are going to have a little fun, pretty." _

_He commands another guy to keep a look out. I try to breathe properly and I didn't show any sign of weakness. Not in front of these people. I am angry but at the same time, I am scared. I don't want to be touched by this person. _

_He slides his hands into my shirt and he slowly makes his way down when I grab hold of his arms. Few seconds later, he screams in pain. I don't know what is happening but I have a slight hunch that I am causing pain to him. The guy who is grabbing me stops what he was doing and he was by the man's side. _

_"Greg? Greg, are you okay?" _

_Greg looks me right in the eyes and I could see the fear in his eyes. However, I didn't stop whatever I was doing. I like the power that I am having right now. When his eyes roll back and he drops to the floor, everyone flinches. I let go of him and I look around at the other guys. They look horrified and before they could make their escape, two policemen around the corner saw what was happening. _

_An hour later, I am in the holding room giving my statement to the police. Although I liked the power I had just now and I may hate Greg for what he was about to do, I felt bad and I hope he is alright. _

_Once they release me, Dad runs towards me and he hugs me tightly. "Thank god nothing happened to you." _

_"I'm alright, Dad. I manage to get away. How is Greg?" _

_"He…" He didn't look at me in the eyes and I could sense something is wrong. "He is dead." _

_That's when the guilt starts falling onto me. I killed him and at that point when I was doing it, I liked it. _

_An unfamiliar voice rings. _

_"You are never going to make friends because one day one of your friends is going to end up like Greg. You can never control yourself and you know it." _

_I want to scream at the voice and tell it that it is wrong but a part of me agrees with the voice. What if one day the power consumes me and I hurt my father? Or my friends? I can't let that happen to everyone I care. Or even to anyone on the streets or in this school. _

"Chris!" I jump up when someone calls my name. My vision goes fuzzy and I have to blink a few times to see who is calling me.

"Chris, are you okay?" I realize that Sam is shaking me. I rub my eyes and nod.

"What happened?"

"You missed a few classes and all of us were worried. Come on, it's lunch."

That is when I realize something. I can't do this. Sam takes my hand and leads me out of the library when I stop her.

"Why not you go first? I have to visit the toilet."

"Oh… okay, see you!" She smiles at me and heads to the cafeteria. I quickly hide in the cubicle and hope to God that she won't come back to find me here.

The dream is trying to tell me that I can't have friends and that I should stay away from them. As much as I hate to do that, I know that I have to do it. I will never know when I might lose control and start to kill once again. Greg's death was partially the reason why we had to move here. Dad told me that he died due to an intense pressure in his blood vessels and it bursts. All I could think is that I am the cause of his death.

I don't want that to happen here as well.

I couldn't stop shaking my legs and my mind is conflicted. I didn't leave the toilet until the bell rings for the next class. Kian sees me but I didn't stop to wait for him. I have to try to keep my distance from all of them and my sneaky ways manage to keep me away from them until school is over.

I take the other gate out of school so that I won't bump into any of them. It isn't easy but I am glad that I manage to succeed. When I could no longer hear the sounds of students chattering, I slow down my pace. I am not keen to head home so I just take a long stroll around the park. Even though we moved a few weeks ago, I haven't explored this town at all.

I sit down on the nearest bench and the dream I had this morning crawls into my mind. I wouldn't call it a dream because it did happen. The whole details of the dream are real. I remember attending Greg's funeral and I remember seeing both his parents crying. I shouldn't kill him even after what he had done. I should just stop and let him get caught, that's all. But something in me snapped and I killed him.

The only person who knows the truth is me and I couldn't tell anyone. Not even my own father.

Sometimes I like to tell myself that I wasn't the cause of his death just to make myself feel better and feel less guilty but it didn't work. I would curl up in bed at night, fighting off my own nightmares about Greg dying in front of me.

For the whole month, I was suffering.

I shake my head out of my dreadful thoughts. When we moved to London, I decide to keep those thoughts out of my head but no such luck.

What do I do now? I can't hide from Kian and the gang forever. I don't want to hurt their feelings as well. I sigh and look at my hands. No one could explain what kind of powers I have. Until now, I still can't believe what I am capable of. I can't believe that I can heal someone just by taking their hands in mine. It is just too supernatural and for a few times, I believe that I am a freak.

If I have such powers, does anyone out there have it as well?

How do I get rid of it?

Am I going crazy?

I have so many questions but no one is there to answer me. I feel so alone for the first time.


End file.
